BONES OF MY BODY

This isn’t the typical type of post from me today, It’s a somewhat controversial post, that I hope plenty of you can sink your teeth into (do not bite too hard, this is not a debate).

I'M A SIZE 4/28.

"You will look better with a little meat on your arse" Is what they tell me.

“why don’t I have boobs like my friends do?” “why do all my bones poke out at every angle?” “where are my hips?” “why am I so skinny?” Body worries were the closest thing to my mind.

WELL, I'M FED UP WITH IT.

So, why does it bother you so much that I am skinny and don’t put on weight, why do the curves on my body boggle your mind and make you want to utter a word or two even three more and then end the sentence with what feels so mere to you ” Just saying”.  What is it with people and my body? "You are too skinny, You only have bones, you should eat more, try different vitamins. Why are you so skinny, when are you getting fat"? is what I'm told and asked often. You see MY BODY and I we are ingrained, intertwined, We have a choice, if we want to put on weight, that’s fine, if we want to lose our muffin tops that is fine too, We can share other things but this bond, this what i feel with my body and i it’s sacred, it’s a long and deep conversation but we will hear bickering and chatter trying to penetrate, peer and they will rear their ugly heads. I can’t help the shape of my body. Nor do I want to feel ashamed of it. There’s no part of it I would change and I don’t feel any anxiety when I look in the mirror due to what is reflected back at me. It is my body, my bones! 

We are different, my body and I, I know, Ingrained and intertwined and this is how it should be endless, our conversation should be endless with choices, ones that makes us comfortable with all we are, with all our curves, our stretch marks, our long and skinny legs, our contours, our wrinkles. If we want to change anything let it come from the bottom of our heartbeat, If we seek for change we will look hard and long at the mirror, let the sound of our voice belt out from our bellies going up. Why does it bother you so much?

I always hear and read about larger people going through a tough time trying to lose weight, slim people can go through just as much of a tough time trying to put it on, but nobody ever really thinks of that.I look at a lot of ladies putting so much pressure on themselves because they are not comfortable with their bodies. Some want to lose weight, others gain weight, others want big tight buts, biceps and flat tummies. I should know, I was one of them. Please know that I say this with so much compassion, as I know this is not an easy thing to conquer…. but sadly, one thing that can actually really prevent someone from being “beautiful” is the very act of wishing desperately day & night that they were a different size and moping around about it, complaining about it, having awful thoughts about it, feeling guilty and ugly, comparing themselves to others non-stop, feeling jealous, feeling undesirable, and believing that they will never be happy with themselves until they are a different weight/shape than they are now.  Just think of the negativity that one could carry around (& force upon loved ones.  eeks!) when this desire to be different consumes them. That kind of life is not attractive.

So, is calling someone skinny really acceptable? Or, do you agree with me that it’s just as insensitive as calling someone fat? As as naturally skinny person, I can tell you that it’s not very nice being called out for being “too skinny”, especially as i tried so hard to put weight on, and wanted so desperately to be “of average size” as I was growing up. It’s a bit of a touchy subject but one I wanted to address. I get a weird amount of people asking me my height and weight, and a part of me thinks they are trying to suss out if I'm underweight in a very sly and kinda creepy way. So now at least I've answered that for you…weirdos. ;)

Moral of the story here though, is that I don’t really think it’s ever acceptable to comment on anybody’s weight, skinny or fat. Why should you ever be allowed an opinion on someone else’s body or way of life? You can think it in your head, but the minute you open your mouth it becomes very dangerous, that is of course unless you are opening your mouth to give a compliment, by all means do this. ha ha! If YOU are happy with the way you look, that’s all that matters, and if you aren’t, chances are you are doing something about it and working towards something you know you will make you happy. SO, even in this moment, say to yourself that you don’t have to lose weight to radiate beauty & confidence. Say it over & over & over. Try to really believe this. Try to feel that beauty, regardless of your weight. 

For true beauty and long-lasting happiness, 

• the kind that GLOWS 
• the kind that everyone will be attracted to 
• the kind that will attract lovely people and good-hearted men
• the kind that will just radiate…

you must work to give up the misery, emotional suffering, worthlessness, & guilt associated with wanting to be skinny or fat. I believe that real happiness is not dependent on circumstance…. and that includes weight, too.  

Everybody is different, and nobody is perfect. It would be a very boring place if this wasn’t the case. I bet on me today, i don’t come bullet proofed, i will know no safety belt for the woman i am slowly becoming…. I am a double dose, I am a living human being to greatness.

♥ LHB